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I have been on no fewer than thirteen planes in the last four weeks or so.\r\nI've already made my apologies to the environment. If it's any consolation,\r\nit makes my ears really hurt every time. It's only four days, after that,\r\nuntil I get on a flight from Edinburgh to Madrid. It's becoming as normal as\r\ngoing for a walk. (A walk with earache and slight deafness).
\r\nPresumably, if using electronic equipment during takeoff and landing, and\r\nmobile phones at any time, was actually dangerous there would be some sort of\r\nmachine to detect if any passengers did have things turned on, and electric\r\nshock them (or something). And there would be a degree of consistency in how\r\nthese things were handled between airports. In quite a few airports in\r\nAustralia, we were asked to turn our phones off altogether before stepping\r\nonto the tarmac to approach the plane. I saw a couple of people who were\r\nwalking and tapping their screens get pulled aside and refused boarding until\r\ntheir devices were safely off and pocketed. No planes were crashing in the\r\nbackground. And nobody checked that out-of-sight gadgets were switched off.\r\nSo you only pose a risk if you get caught? And in Zurich, the crew were happy\r\nwith people making phonecalls right up until the plane started trundling.
\r\nSecurity is inconsistent too. And a massive hassle, so in an endeavour to\r\nminimise unpacking and re-packing time at the gates, I gradually reduced the\r\nnumber of electronics and liquids I removed from my hand luggage.
\r\nA timid and inexperienced flyer before this year, I used to think it was\r\nstandard procedure to remove everything with a glimmer of metal or a drop of\r\nliquid for an x-ray in its own separate tray. So out came the chargers,\r\nheadphones, coins, cards and soaps, along with tablets, e-readers, laptop,\r\nphone and clear bags of 100ml containers of liquids.
\r\nBefore the start of this trip I'd figured out that was excessive, and silently\r\npitied those who unloaded all of these things still.
\r\nTime to see what else the security guys don't give two shits about.
\r\nKindle. That was fine. Nobody questioned a Kindle left in my bag.
\r\nTablet was the next to stay. My Nexus 7 caused zero concern.
\r\nAt this point I'm just unloading a laptop and liquids.
\r\nSo I left the toothpaste in. That was fine. Then I found out one of my\r\ntravel buddies had been inadvertently passing through security gates with a\r\n250ml bottle of suncream in the side pocket of his rucksack. Apparently not\r\nan issue.
\r\nAt some point on the trip I acquired small scissors; so weak they could barely\r\ncut thread. They made it through security in Sydney the first time just fine,\r\nbut in Alice Springs my bag got pulled back. I thought it was the toothpaste,\r\nbut no. Once they had confirmed that these scissors were such that they'd\r\nbuckle before piercing skin, they let me have them back. Same again in\r\nCairns, and Gold Coast. By Sydney round three, the scissors had broken into\r\ntwo parts. A very concerned looking lady asked if she minded if she threw\r\nthem away rather than let them on the plane. I didn't.
\r\nBy this point I was sending 50ml nasal spray and deodorant through, because\r\nwhat the heck? They were also cool with our massive jar of pasta sauce, and\r\nwhatever we happened to be drinking at the time.
\r\nSo within Australia, I was just removing my laptop at security (and phone from\r\nmy pocket).
\r\nIn Singapore, signs actually advised that we keep phones, tablets and\r\ne-readers packed, so only the laptop came out there too (my liquids were in my\r\nhold baggage by this point).
\r\nZurich, however, are nuts.
\r\nNo liquids still, and I got out my Nexus and Kindle straight away because\r\nsomeone ahead of me was getting yelled at about an iPad.
\r\nApparently that wasn't enough, and eager staff sent my bag back through three\r\ntimes, unloading more on each round. Out came chargers, headphones, bags\r\nwithin bags, chocolate. I was almost ashamed of how much crap I was carting\r\naround. For the final round they dug deep to extract a a sealed bar of soap I\r\nbought someone as a souvenir from Cairns. That seemed to do the trick.
\r\nSo then I had to hold up the line re-packing.
\r\nHow does x-raying soap on its own make it less of a threat? Or easier to\r\ndetect the threat? Serious question. Anyone know?
\r\nI'm just pleased I left my Vegemite and teas in my hold luggage.
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